How important is it to know a hotel is gay welcoming when you travel?

First of all, they often feel they don't have anyone to talk to. They often do not know anyone around them who is openly gay (they may not know any gay people at all). This, combined with the prejudiced views still held by parts of society, can make these teenagers feel isolated and lonely. The stigma attached to being gay doesn't make it any easier.

What can also make matters worse is peer group pressure. Most teenagers find that their peers will be talking largely about members of the opposite sex. They sometimes feel awkward when this happens, but they also feel that if they "come out" to their peers, they will be no longer accepted as part of that peer group.

There are a number of estimates as to the percentage that gay people make up in society. These range from as low as two percent to as high as ten percent. Studies done among school students have consistently placed the number at about eight to nine percent. (It is worth noting here that for a character trait, like homosexuality, to be considered "normal", it must exist in more than one percent of the population).

While this figure is reasonably high, it doesn't make the life of gay teenagers any easier. It has been suggested that gay teenagers are about three times more likely to commit suicide than their heterosexual counterparts, or at least to attempt suicide. This is often due to pressures to conform, and because of the stigma still attached to homosexuality that it is an illness.

It is extremely important to remember that homosexuals are only human. Some countries still ban homosexual activity. Often, people think that we ask for "special rights", because of our sexual orientation. While it sometimes comes across like this, this is definitely not the case. All we are asking for is basic human rights, for example the same rights as everyone else to a good job, a house, and the ability to show affection to our partner(s) in public without the fear of having the s**t blown out of us. Quite often, these rights are denied to us, particularly the one about us showing our affection!

While all of this sounds bad, it is certainly not as bad as it was a couple of years ago. Back in the sixties and seventies, you were quite often killed or "bashed" because you were (or were suspected) of being gay. However, this happens far less often now than it used to, which can be nothing but a good thing. We are slowly (very slowly) winning the war against people like Fred Nile, whose prejudice puts us in these situations.

It is only a matter of time before we have the same rights as everyone else. While I don't think we'll ever get rid of all the homophobia, particularly because of the stubbornness of fundamentalist right-wing Christian groups, it is likely that we'll get rid of most of the prejudice that still exists. Already, it is legal for gay couples to get married in Denmark, and it probably won't be long before other countries start to write these laws into their own legislation. Some of the countries that currently forbid any homosexual behavior may soon be forced to change the legislation that forbids it (some countries, for example the Cayman Islands, are already having the pressure put upon them to change their anti-gay laws). So, that's my prediction - give me ten years, and we’ll see how correct I was.

© Tim Kerslake 2002

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