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Gay weddings: why bother if they’re not legal?

Date: 
08/08/2002
Teaser: 

Marriage falls under the Federal Marriage Act of 1961, which stipulates (among other things), that only a male and a female may legally marry. This obviously poses a considersable problem for gays and lesbains. So, why bother?

Source: 
ga_editor

Consider that straight weddings are as much about ceremony as they are about accepting any legal obligations and contracts. Otherwise they’d all get married after work at the local Registry Office for the princely sum of $30. Getting married is a public declaration, a statement about who you are as a couple and what you want to say to the world. Gay people also want to make that same public statement that says; 'we’re in love.'

The services are just as solemn as any. I believe the marriage service should have the same solemnity that heterosexual couples expect. People have made a commitment and I want it done properly and seriously.

Some couples have a very public wedding, on a float in the Mardi Gras for instance – a very few use the church for their service – many couples prefer their own garden or a park. Every council seems to have a suitable park nearby. I also do a few very quiet weddings in private. Apart from a couple who had two drag queens as bridesmaids and a couple of the sweetest guys you could ever hope to meet who were in drag themselves, most weddings are fairly ‘straight’ affairs. People seem to have quite conventional ideas of how a wedding should be.

Though a lot of couples I’ve married have been in their thirties, many have been middle aged or better. What is also inspiring and wonderful to see is more often than not, the couple’s parents and relatives are present, father giving the groom away in marriage, mother her daughter. Weddings are all about sharing your love with family and closest friends.

Now there is greater acceptance of differences and alterternative lifestyles, more and more people at last feel free to commit themselves to their partners in public. One day, it may just even be legally recognised.

© Anne Covertry 2002 and © Gay Australia 2002

Anne Coventry is one of Australia’s best-known gay civil celebrants, having presided over a hundred Gay and Lesbian marriages. Anne is also renown for her work with PFLAG having started parents marching in the Sydney Mardi Gras 12 years ago. Anne is available for your wedding and can be contacted on (02) 9743 6883 or anne@gayweddings.com.au or visit her web site at www.gayweddings.com.au